Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West and Central London, Hertfordshire (Watford) & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 247 Saturday 9^th until Friday 15^th March 2019.

 Happy 4th bday this week to the little lion boy.

Three years ago this week I returned from Mozambique, convinced I would return that summer or at least by the start of winter.  But here I am in London working in a call centre! Personally, I feel trapped and worry that I will never escape!  The date of leaving has continually been pushed back, family and close friends must be fed up with me going on and on about how I will return to that beautiful paradise beside the Indian ocean.

 “Going home, the sky looked pretty”.

I have been saving, but everyday life continually gets in the way, paying bills, exonerate travel prices which never go down!  Short periods of unemployed of course didn’t help. When I do spend a few pounds on myself, I feel guilty because every penny spent pushes the leave date back further.  The need for more money has made me consider other forms of employment such as, working in porn, becoming a sex worker or dealing drugs!  The problem is I have no qualifications in any of those fields, and I am pretty sure (though I have not checked) that the local adult college won’t offer courses in those subjects.  Surely anything is better than a call centre!

 “Doing my bit for Comic Relief”.

Not a week goes by without me thinking of Tofo.  Liquid Dive Adventures and my friends that work there!  The lovely Jenny and her amazing cheesecakes!  Thomas who sells mobile phone airtime and drives the local taxi!  Walking through the market carrying a hot plate of Matapa!  Beautiful beaches!  Power and water cuts!  Waving my mozzie zapper around!  Diving in the Indian Ocean!  Jelly fish blooms in November!  Humpbacks and calves breaching the waves!  Launching the boat in a rough sea!  And of course lots of smiling locals!  Rereading this makes me feel hopeless and tearful.

 “Croc’s never look good.  What was this person thinking of”.

When I was in Tofo I lived a basic, but happier life.  Internet and the ability to download shiz is important, but otherwise I am happier without all the trappings that I take for granted in London every day.  My heart is in Tofo, but if I can’t get back there maybe there is another location I can go.  Unfortunately, due to a certain UK referendum in 2016 any ideas of going to live in Europe appear to be scuppered.  I don’t want this to sound like a tail of woo, I am trying to remain positive and when needed I think about Mozambique and all the wonderful things, people and places I saw.  And hopefully I will see them again with my own eyes one day.

 “Cute Hamster pic of the Week”.

Even I am getting fed up of my moaning and wish I would shut up.  Dear family and close friends (they know who they are) please accept this as a public apology for the last three years of constantly repeating myself like a broken record!

 “Cute graffiti on the Tube”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “The little lion boy, has got  little older”.

One of my earliest memories is using mums Tupperware and my tricycle as a drum kit when I was probably 3 or 4.  I mention this as last weekend my youngest nephews became four.  In years to come I hope he remembers how his old lardy aunty ran around the house hiding with him from “very bad people”.  Playing with his airport made of small plastic bricks and pretending to ring the baggage handlers about the small orange plastic brick suitcase he was obsessed it!

 “A two cake family”.

I would also remind him how in the space of ten minutes he said that aunty MOZ (a couple of hours before he was hugging her asking if there were more prezzies) and then his brother had ruined everything!  They hadn’t of course!  And how he took the cake he was eating out of his mouth and tried to put it back on the plate with the rest of the cake.  There is a certain logic there that I understand!

 “Now you see me!”.

I will always remember that day because a one hour car journey took over three and half hours.  A combination of high winds closing roads (especially the QEII bridge) and a number of accidents which meant we travelled at a snail’s pace.  MOZ will remember the journey because every time the wind side swiped the car, I let out a scared Yelp.  It really was a day to remember for many reasons.

 “Now you dont!”.

And Finally……

 “A huge queue, not a problem for someone on the guest list”.

I received an invite to the recording of a BBC radio show with Ruby Wax at the Museum of comedy, only to find I was on the guest list.  It was really interesting listening to Ruby who was sat a couple of metres away (I was in the front row) speaking very personally about her own mental health history.  Her studies about the Brain, the books that she has written and setting up of Frazzled Cafes (I have been attending the Stratford one since last September. For further info go to frazzledcafe.org it helps me).

 “Picture Ruby in that seat, that’s how close she was”.

Highlight was meeting Ruby at the end, having a chat and getting a hug.

 “Meeting a comedy legend”.

During the show above my head was the Spitting Image puppet of comedy legend Frankie Howard. I was impressed, even if you’re not.

 “A latex comedy legend above my head”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 “Writing this shiz”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“6 Below: Miracle On The Mountain”, (2017).  “After Life”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Being Human”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Click”, (TX: 09/03/19).  “Cuckoo”, (S4, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Cunk On Britain”, (S1, ep 4, TX: x24/04/18).  “Fleabag”, (S2, ep 2).  “James May’s Big Trouble in Model Britain”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 13/03/19).  “Rouge One: A Star Wars Story”, (2016).  “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 9).  “The Commuter”, (2018).  “The Great Celebrity Bake Off For SU2C”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 12/03/19).  “The Last Leg”, (S16, ep 7, TX: 08/03/19).  “The Limit: Trickest Tunnel”, (TX: 28/11/1995).  “The Walking Dead”, (S8, ep 9 & ep 16)(S9, ep 1 to ep 13).  “The Umbrella Academy”, (S1, ep 7 & ep 10).  “This Time With Alan Partridge”, (S1, ep 3).  “Top Gear”, (S26, ep 4, TX: 10/03/19).  “Tuesday Documentary: The Bomb Disposal Man”, (TX: 29/10/1974).  “Unsane”, (2018). 

This week I saw live:

“Ruby Wax: Frazzled Radio (BBC Radio)”, (Recorded at the Museum of Comedy London).

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti-Social Show (Pod and Videocast)”, (ep 70, 09/03/19).  “Brian And Roger”, (S2, ep 5, 03/03 & ep 6, 15/03/19).  “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 53, 13/03/19).  “David Tennant Does A Podcast”, (S1, ep 7, 12/03/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 71, 13/03/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (07/03, 08/03, 11/03, 12/03/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Highlights)”, (10/03, 11/03, 12/03, 13/03, 14/03/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (09/03, 15/03/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 82, 08/03 & ep 83, 15/03/19).  “Rule Of Three”, (03/05/18 & 14/03/19).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 132, 08/03 & ep 133, 15/03/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (10/03 & 15/03/19).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (15/03/19).  “Morrissey”,  “ABBA”,   “Terry Blair & Anouchka”, “The Lightening Seeds”, “Frazier Chorus”,  “The Beautiful South”, “Beatles”, “Cocteau Twins”, “First Aid Kit”, “The Cranberries”, “The Verve”, “Hairspray (Original Musical Cast 2002)”, “Coldplay”, “Men At Work”, “Mental As Anything”, “Vanessa Paradis”, “Bananarama & Fun Boy Three”, “Lana Del Ray”.