Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Hertfordshire & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 149 Saturday 22ndApril 2017 until Friday 28thApril 2017.
This week I really want to thank “London Midland” for their excellent train service to Watford, Hertfordshire. A fast, smooth journey that was more importantly FREE. Due to an electrical problem at London Euston I couldn’t touch in at the ticket gate. Once in Watford passengers were ushered through ticket barriers being told not to touch out, this journey really was free. Going home later that night a little drunk it was exactly the same. There is very little in life especially in “London Town” that’s free, I spend more on travel than anything else, so a free “chuff chuff” ride is never to be sniffed at.
Fun in Hertfordshire.
The last time I visited my brother and his lovely family “up north” about a month ago ended messily. The night before my glass was magically refilled over and over, it really was a relaxed evening with family. On Saturday morning just before I left I enjoyed a bright red beetroot smoothie. Paul then drove me to the station which was really nice because the walk is only about 10 minutes, but being very hungover a lift was most appreciated.
Nico drawing what i looked like on Saturday morning, Leo’s not sure that i am a responsible adult.
It was during this drive that everything went wrong, the beetroot smoothie sloshed around my swollen alcohol engorged stomach making me feel ill. Paul brought the car to a stop as if he was doing a driving test when the examiner had tapped the dashboard with a clipboard indicating that he wanted a quick controlled emergency stop. I opened the door quickly and started to decorate the pavement of Hertfordshire a deep beetroot red colour. Paul made the decision to take me back to his house, this was when I decided to pay tribute to the late great John Hurt by recreating his most memorable scene from “Alien”, you know the one. Within a fraction of a second the white interior of the car became beetroot red. The brightly coloured vomit was everywhere on everything and all over me. Once back at his home I felt worse not because my very young nephews stood wondering what terrible accident had occurred, but I discovered that the car belonged to my sister-in-law Sigrida.
Sign’s of the week.
This is not the first time that I have embarrassed myself in public as a result of drink. My poor sister SAZ has at least on three different occasions over the last 15 years had to strip me naked and put me in the bath. During the late 80s early 90s I would regularly meet a friend JUZ, during those evenings we would drink a lot of very cheap cider while listening to Morrissey, Smiths or watching marathons of Monty Python, Red Dwarf or Doctor Who. I have many fond memories of JUZ, the things we did and the places we went. Unfortunately there are a number that still trouble me. Such as running up the stairs in the middle of the night with a hand over mouth desperately trying to make it to the loo. This was when a chunky liquid started to squirt from between my fingers leaving a sticky dripping trail down the walls. Another time that I am definitely not proud of, is rushing into his kitchen as I knew I’d never make it upstairs. I was sick all over a week’s worth of cups, saucers and cutlery. Then there was the time I walked home a journey of about 40 mins on a sunny Saturday morning with a terrible headache and dried vomit all over my black t-shirt. Yes I was that loser you see staggering home at the weekend covered in their own puke.
A little glamour in Dagenham.
Don’t get me wrong I like a drink, but the older I get the more I am realising that alcohol isn’t working for me the way it used to. I just don’t get that funny, fuzzy, fizzy feeling that I did years ago. Nowadays I just feel ill and spend days recovering hating myself.
The Jbomb and his twin.
While I was travelling up to Watford enjoying my free train ride I knew that I had to be on my best behaviour. I didn’t want my two nephews seeing me in that state again. I’m supposed to be a responsible adult that their parents can trust, while they’re the children should be covered in their own mess. Maybe now it’s time to re-evaluate how I live my life.
I do adult things.
This week I really want to say I’m sorry to JUZ, SAZ, Paul, nephews Nico and Leo and my mum who was not impressed at her eldest recent behaviour? But most of all I am sorry to Sigrida, it won’t happen again. I hope.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
Writing this Shiz.
This week I have mainly been watching: “All Round To Mrs Brown’s”, (S1, ep 5). “Acquitted”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “Blue Peter”, (TX: 04/11/74). “Born To Kill”, (S1, ep 1). “Bucket”, (S1, ep 3). “Click”, (TX: 22/04/17). “Doctor Who”, (S26/S1, ep1)(S36/S10, ep 1, ep 2). “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol2”, (2017). “Have I Got A Bit More News For You”, (S53, ep 1). “Have I Got News For You”, (S53, ep 2). “Hospital People”, (S1, ep 1). “Horizon: ADHD And Me With Rory Bremner”, (TX: 25/04/17). “Horizon: Seeing Stars”, (2011/12, ep 2). “I Was Born on One Born”, (ep 1 & ep 2). “Inside The Tube: Going Underground”, (S1, ep 3). “Man Made Planet: Earth From Space”, (TX: 22/04/17). “Murder In Successville”, (S3, ep 2). “Our Friend Victoria”, (ep 3). “Sex, Lies And Love Bites: The Agony Aunts Story”, (TX: 10/03/15). “Star Trek”, (S2, ep 2). “The China Syndrome”, (1979). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S21, ep 3). “The Last Kingdom”, (S2, ep 6). “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 13). “The Moon”, (TX: 27/02/06). “The Sky At Night: 60th Anniversary”, (TX: 23/04/17). “The Sun”, (TX: 06/03/06). “The Tube: Going Underground”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8). “Timeshift. The Ladybird Book Story: The Bugs That Got Britain Reading”, (S13, ep 5). “Top Cat: Begins”, (2015). “Top Gear”, (S24, ep 7). “Top Gear: Extra Gear”, (S2, ep 7). “The Golden Girls”, (S3, ep 10 to ep 14).
This week I have mainly been listening to: “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (20/04 x 2). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (20/04, 21/04, 24/04/17). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (27/04/17). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/04, 28/04/17). “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 18, 11/02/15) (ep 29, 01/04/15) (ep 148, 26/04/17). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 38, 28/04/17). “Strange Times”, (ep 215 & ep 216, 03/03/17)(ep 217, 10/03/17)(ep 218, 17/03/17)(ep 219, 01/04/17) (ep 220, 10/04/17)(ep 221, 15/04/17). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 41, 27/04/17). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 13, 27/04/17). “These People Podcast”, (ep 20, 21/04/17). “Morrissey”, “Des’ree”, “Whitney Houston”, “The Pet Shop Boys”, “Suede”, ”Pulp”, “Echobelly“, “Sixpence None The Richer”, “The Manic Street Preachers”.